10 Ways to find Work Life Balance
Hello everyone! This blog comes to you by request. I asked what information folks want to know more about and Work Life balance is the current winner. Before we jump in, feel free to visit the Facebook page or Instagram page for more support and information. I would love to know more about the issues you may want more support and guidance on.
I could spend a whole day giving someone notes on how to create more work life balance in their lives. I personally enjoy helping my clients with this issue and sometimes folks just need permission to put their foot down. We work so hard for our families and to live the life we want. Right? I imagine that is why you are putting in those long hours at the office. You work hard so that you can live the life you have dreamed. Even if you are a stay at home mom or dad you work hard so that you can provide a safe and loving space for your family and children. You also need to create balance between being on the job and being able to sit down and enjoy time with family. This blog includes some steps you can implement to support a healthier work life balance and some resources for you to check out. Some of these suggestions may take more time at first but once you spare a few extra minutes to get started it could save you hours of time you could spend doing what you want to do.
1. Evaluate your time.
Have you ever sat down and looked at how you spend your time? Think about this like an evaluation of your budget. When you evaluate your spending, you look at where your money is being spent, items you can either eliminate or work to decrease, and how to allocate your priority spending. This is the same thing. Get a planner or a journal (preferably something you can write down times) and I want you to literally take the next few days to a week to write down everything that you spend your time doing. For example: 9am – 9:53 am – answered emails, 10:04-10:15 scrolled my newsfeed on Facebook, etc. Do this as diligently as you can for a few days to a week. At the end of the week examine how you have spent your time. Add up the time spent on emails, meetings, chores, driving, tv, social media, family time, time with your children, cooking dinner, goofing off, procrastinating, etc. Take it even a step further by averaging your time and find out how much of your time is spent on work vs. home, what you are actually doing with time at work, what you are actually doing at home, how much time on average you are spending doing the things you love to do. I promise this will be an eye-opening experience. Once you can see where your time is being spent you can start to make decisions on how to effectively spend your time on YOUR TERMS. You and I both know life is too short to allow it to be taken by tasks, chores, to do lists, and obligations. The two next suggestion will help you with this.
2. Delegate!
I am assuming that there are people in your current world who are not doing their fair share. This might include employees, spouses, partners, children, family, etc. Look at your time evaluation. When it comes to work, yes it could be more difficult to delegate but is there a person who could support you on a project? Could ask for help from a superior or even hire a college intern? Pick possibly one thing you could give to someone else to do, or ask your coworkers or boss for help on.
Are there things on this list that your partner could help you with that they aren’t doing? Your children? I promise if they are old enough to ask for a pair of Nikes, they are old enough to put them away. I know what you are thinking “It is just easier if I do it myself”. No, it isn’t that is why you are reading this post. Ok, so they won’t put their clothes away in the drawers you want them to…. so, what! The clothes are not sitting in stacks in your bedroom waiting for you to do it. I also hear this a lot, “Well, they just don’t do what I tell them, and they will refuse to help out”. First you have more power than you think. Do you pay for a fancy cell phone, car, activities, practices? If you said yes to any of these then you have ALL OF THE POWER! Use it! Find 3 tasks you want your child to do each week. I promise this is helping them more than it is hurting them. Same thing for your spouse. You can ask for help. You signed up for a teammate so let’s find ways that you can work together as a team. Ask them to support 2-3 things that you can take off your to do list. I am sure they can handle taking the kids to swim practice, running the vacuum, getting the kids to bed, etc. I know this last one can be a toughie, even if you can work on letting go of one thing of your list, it is a victory. Progress not perfection.
So, let’s say you live alone and every responsibility rests on you. If you are lucky enough to be able to afford it, hire help such as a maid, someone to cut your grass, walk your pets, etc. Look at your list of chores. Does everything on the list “need” to be done? Are there daily things that could be moved to once a week? Try to make a schedule of what could be done weekly, biweekly, and monthly. This way you can free up your time for the fun things you want to do.
3. Create systems and change how you do things at work and home.
It can be extremely helpful to look at the way you are doing things and how you can be more efficient. Do you really need to spend 2 hours each morning answering emails? Could you set a boundary from here on out that you are only going to spend one hour answering these emails? You would be shocked what you get done if you make it a point to only give yourself a set amount of time to do something. I bet you would focus on the most important items and then work your way down. I bet you would get them all done, or you would at least get close. If you took less time on this task could you schedule a lunch? Could you get more necessary work done? Look at your work week. How many things could you try to put boundaries around, move to weekly tasks, and how many things could you be doing in a smarter way?
Look at what you are spending your time doing at home. Could you meal prep on weekends so that dinners or lunches could be ready? Do you run to the grocery store multiple times a week? Could this be avoided by taking the time to plan meals and look at what is exactly in your cabinets. This could also help you save money. This boundary can also help your household to understand that what is in the kitchen is there and it must last till the next grocery visit. If it is understood that there is not going to be refills on food throughout the week it can also help folks from bored eating. I promise if you plan no one is going to starve. If communication is a problem in your home, get a large white board and calendar. Everyone gets their own color marker, and everyone must put their obligations, necessary tasks, chores, and grocery needs on the board. If you guys are a tech family start a shared google calendar so that everyone can see what everyone is doing. If it’s not on the calendar it’s not happening. Take some time to sit down with your partner, friends, or even make it a whole family project. Come up with creative and achievable systems to make life easier on everyone. New routines can be tough, but this could make for a happier home.
4. Set some boundaries.
Are you able to leave work at work and home at home? Most people are not good at this especially if the expectation has already been established that you are available whenever you are wanted. It is difficult but it must stop today. Answering emails after work does not need to happen. Even if you are a doctor I am assuming if something is life or death it is not coming to you via email. Set an away message in your email to go off everyday at quitting time that says a nice message about how you are not in the office and you will be happy to answer their email when you return in the morning. If you have a work phone and it is important that you check it, can you pick one or two times that you will check it, instead of multiple times a night, interrupting your family time? Now if you do not actually need to answer the work phone can you leave it on silent in your bag? Can you make yourself an away voicemail message out how you will answer their call during business hours? Find two new ways that you can keep work at work. This can also include not taking all evening to talk about work. You could set a timer for you and your spouse to only talk work for 10 minutes and then you both need to move on to something else.
Leaving family at home can be tough especially if you have children. Let your family know that you will only be answering texts at a time you have decided such as lunch for a mid-morning break. Let them know that if there is an emergency that requires your attention right away that they are to call you. I would also help them to understand what an actual emergency is. This way you can focus at work, accomplish more tasks, and in return you are taking less work home. Set your boundaries and hold to them. It can be so tough at first, but everyone will get used to it. Trust me I am sure they have boundaries with you, and you are OK.
5. Reality check your to do list.
Does everything on your daily list NEED to be done? I guarantee most days your list is so long, even a superhero would need help getting it all done in one day. The worst part about this long list, you will never get it done and then you feel like you have failed. Well guess what you are setting your self up for failure so you will fail. Look at your list for the day. Pick 2-3 things at work and maybe 1 or 2 things at home you really need to do. Get those done first! Victory! Any item after that is cause for celebration. Think about them as the cherry on top of your sundae.
6. Unplug.
I think that this point this one is self-explanatory. If you are not saving the world or ending world hunger limit your time. I bet if you weren’t on your phone as much you could possibly get more work done when you are at work. Just like you want your children to get off the phone so should you. You are missing out on time in your life. Even if that means calling your friends, take a walk, read a book, do a craft, be present. Set a screen time limit for yourself, especially at night. In one of my previous blog posts I share tips about sleep and putting the phone down is a biggie.
7. Date Night and Family Night.
That balance stuff we have been talking about means you need to add fun things to your life. Establishing a night, at the very least once a month, for you and your partner. This is important and you will love this time with your partner. If you are single this could include date nights with your best friends or even taking the evening or day to do something good for you. Get a massage, go to a restaurant you love, get your hair done, etc. Create family night. Weekly or biweekly have a family night. This could be game night, an adventure, dinner, trying a new activity together, etc. It is important to take the time to just be with one another. When was the last time you did something fun as a family? When was the last time you and your spouse were just together? When was the last time you did anything fun with a friend?
8. Establish Me time.
Everyone else gets your time and so should you. You need Me time. Everyone does. You need time to be with yourself without having anyone need your attention. If you talk with your spouse on the way to or from work why not skip this? If listening to a favorite podcast, listening to music, or sitting in silence is something that you want to do, then do it. Set the boundary and take that time to unwind. I also want to encourage you to look at how you are taking care of yourself. Are you eating the way you need? Are you getting the right amount of exercise? Are you nurturing yourself at all? It is important that you take care of you. Find 1 or 2 self-care activities you would like to add to your week. No, self-care is not selfish and does not take away from anyone. A happy you is a happy home. You cannot pour from an empty bucket. These things if anything make you a better employee, partner, parent, and friend.
9. Say No!
Stop saying yes to things you do not want to do. Your time is precious. Why would you spend it doing things you do not want to do. Mail a card for the baby shower you do not want to go to. You have plans to do things you want to do. Yes, it is ok, and you do not need to justify what you are doing to anyone. Even it means you would rather take a nap. You can also say No to your children. If they want to go to a friend’s house for the 12th time this week, they need to find a way to get there. You are saying no this time. They will either have someone else take them or they will stay home. Either way everyone lived. No one will fall apart if they cannot do what they want because you need to take care of yourself. Find something to say No to in the next week or two.
10. Take a Time Out.
Brene’ Brown said it best, “It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol”. Not every moment of your life needs to be productive. Not all your time needs to be allocated. Sit down and breathe. Allow your body to sit still. You are allowed to do nothing and veg out. When you find yourself wanting to just sit and stop, guess what, stop. Take a time out for yourself. It does not need to be justified, you do not need to earn it, and who cares what anyone else will think. You need it so do it, end of story.
Finding balance in your life is not an easy task. It takes time, effort, and trial and error to find what is best for you. Balance is something that is not always going to be achievable, but the goal is to find ways that gets you closer to the things you want to do. Spend your time doing things that bring you joy. Below are three resources to help you take these suggestions a step further. For more support check out the resources tap at the top of the menu for suggested books and links. If you have topics you would like to know more about or resources, you have found to be helpful feel free to comment on the linked social media pages at the bottom of this screen.
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